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Disposable by ~deadlypoison695:icondeadlypoison695:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Horror & Macabre > Fixed


A book with Grandpa’s favorite quote
A poem that your boyfriend wrote
Your little cousin’s old toy boat
They’re all disposable.

A picture of a long lost friend
A letter you forgot to send
The broken heart you couldn’t mend
They’re all disposable.

A notebook from your freshman year
With notes from friends you once held dear
A porcelain doll you used to fear
They’re all disposable.

The lies I’m burning to confess
The love I’m yearning to caress
The tears I constantly repress
Am I disposable?

The hollow hopes that didn’t last
The shining dreams that died so fast
The constant fear of things long past
Am I disposable?

A hopeless cry within the strife
My tears reflected by the knife
The memory of a happy life
Am I disposable?

A cry rings through the black of night
The raven and the crow take flight
A cloud impedes the pure moonlight
We’re all disposable.

A bloody pool of hopes and dreams
Overcast eyes and strangled screams
A life that burst out at the seams
We’re all disposable.

A body in a crimson gown
A lonely grave outside the town
A small stone angel falling down
We’re all disposable.
©2005-2009 ~deadlypoison695
:icondeadlypoison695:

Author's Comments

Yes, I have FINALLY finished it. I don't think it's one of my best poems, but it's a poem that I've been wanting to finish ever since I started it. The last few stanzas feel a little strained to me because I didn't really have the strong emotion flowing through me that I had when I wrote the first ones, but I guess that I'll leave that up to those who read it since I'm told that I always over critisize myself.

I'd really love some suggestions if anybody has them, I feel like this one just doesn't have the same drive as my others but I can't tell what it's missing.

Comments


love 1 1 joy 1 1 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconnakai-miles:
=Nakai-Miles May 25, 2005, 2:15:17 PM
wow....speachless...

--
Mizaru, Mikazaru, Mazaru.
:icondeadlypoison695:
~deadlypoison695 May 25, 2005, 2:19:35 PM
YAY!!! You like it!! :boogie:

--
:blackrose:
Can't you see that sometimes I need to be bothered? That sometimes I push you away, hoping that you'll care enough to come back and try again?
:blackrose:
:iconsirnaelyan:
~SirNaelyan May 25, 2005, 2:24:33 PM
mmmm. I like it too. I think it's one of your better poems, though you haven't submitted anything for quite some time. Or nothing I've paid attention to, in which case, sorry. :-\

I like the idea for the poem, and the rhyme scheme, and the repetition. *nodnod* There's something I want to critique but I'll refrain from doing so because it's a good poem and what I'd say wouldn't be helpful, tis more a difference of opinion that I can't exactly explain. Cuz you're right. we're all disposable.

--
--SirNaelyan
:iconmoonshadow-darkraven:
~MoonShadow-DarkRaven May 25, 2005, 3:15:09 PM
wow. reflects current times quite well. (going to a wake/funeral tomorrow). well written

--
~*~*~Carpe noctem*~*~*
:iconriphion:
~Riphion May 25, 2005, 4:55:16 PM
very dark, but beautifull at the same time....

--
"dreams are all lost, just if you want to find them, they will appear, just never give up."
:altermind:
:icondeadlypoison695:
~deadlypoison695 May 25, 2005, 5:43:14 PM
Thank you

--
:blackrose:
Can't you see that sometimes I need to be bothered? That sometimes I push you away, hoping that you'll care enough to come back and try again?
:blackrose:
:iconjustpolly:
~justpolly May 25, 2005, 9:41:32 PM
i love how it all comes to such a strong conclusion,well done

--
-polly:you say i'm weird as if it's a bad thing...
:iconilikethedark:
~ILikeTheDark May 25, 2005, 9:43:21 PM
Wow, there should be more poems like this. this was so incredibly written. I wish all the people I watched had this talent. There were a few parts where the disposable question made it should a bit bad, but that doesn't matter. This was a very well written poem, I think I shall fav it.
:iconlost-faith:
~Lost-Faith May 26, 2005, 12:44:42 AM
wow, this is really amazing, the last few stanzas are very different from the first, but they make the poem stronger because it devolpes from a very serene sadness to a deep disturbing sadness :+fav:

--
Discover the boundaries of your imagination... then go beyond
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May 25, 2005
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